Getting Naked at the Gym

I don't think I can get naked at the gym. I joined the YMCA last month and so many women bare it all in the change room - even stand and have conversations with others, naked or not, and lather themselves with body lotion.

I think it's fantastic and inspiring that these women are comfortable enough in their own skin to show it so freely. Perhaps the rest of us feel a sense of shame in exposing our bodies - so highly sexualized in North America. But I still don't think I can do it. Every time I get near the showers to use the bathroom, I try to discreetly check out the scene. Is everyone naked? I haven't needed to use the showers yet, you see. The Y is so close, I just walk home to get cleaned up. But I recently purchased all the gear I need to use the pool, and that means taking a shower.

I'm not worried about seeing other people naked, although I do fear that I'll stare. After all, how often do you get to observe the naked bodies of real women? It's a celebration of our vessels and their varying shapes and sizes. I'm just not ready to wear the same freedom badge.

Of course I fear looking like the silly one who needs to cover up when everyone else isn't. I can bear my chest quite easily, but even then, the thought occurs, "what if I bump into a co-worker or acquaintance?" Awwkwaard! My boyfriend's brother's girlfriend (still with me?) goes to the same gym. And I don't know that her and I are ready for that level of intimacy.

I hope in time I too will be comfortable enough to bare this body - to not even give it a second thought. But when I do finally get around to using my new swim suit, I think I'll keep my towel on.