Bumping Into The Ex

Breaking up is hard to do. No matter how long the relationship, or who dumped who, it can be tough. But you mend that broken heart, pull yourself back together and move on. You achieve great things and laugh at how down-and-out you were. That was "sooo yesterday".

So why then, can bumping into an ex be so damn unnerving? You exchange pleasantries and maybe give each other an update. What now? Do you say, "Gee, it was great seeing you. Have a nice life." That would certainly make things simple. Instead, they write down their phone number. Hello, complicated.

This happened recently to a friend of mine. After seven years, the thought of bumping into her ex made her feel a little uneasy. But when it happened, she handled it pretty well. That is until he gave her his phone number.

He could have let the moment pass and waited until destiny had them run into each other again. Instead, he opened up a door. A door my friend really didn't feel comfortable with.

He had asked her so many questions but she didn't get any info about him. It was driving her nuts. She just had to know.

She figured the phone number was an invitation to keep in touch. So she sent him a text message. He responded immediately, telling her to give him a call so they could catch up. She did. But she had to leave him a voice message and he didn't return her call.

For two weeks she turned it over and over in her head. She decided no call had to mean she freaked him out. But he was the one who gave her his number. Now she just wanted to close the door. So she texted him once more.

She apologized for seemingly "spooking" him and told him to "take care". In other words, "you're a loser for getting freaked out over nothing. Have a nice life". He responded within four minutes, explaining he'd been working nights and only just got back from a trip out of town. "I'll call you and we'll hook up," he said. But he hasn't.

She tried to close that damn door. But he kicked it wide open again. Maybe he doesn't even realize that now, so is she.

Did he get freaked out and is now making exscuses for not calling? Or is he truly busy and just hasn't gotten around to it. After all, he doesn't owe her anything. But you'd think that by opening that door, he meant to walk through it. Instead, all my friend is getting is an uncomfortable draft. And a developing resentment that will hopefully allow her to move on once again.