Thursday, May 15, 2008

Cyclist in the City

There's a new cyclist in town. Well, I've been here for a while actually. About eight years to be exact. But I've only just become a cyclist. And it feels great. I feel like a real Torontonian now.

In the past, cyclists used to react in shock when I told them I didn't own a bike. They'd look at me like I was a really lame Torontonian. At leat, I felt that way. But I've always been afraid to navigate our busy streets. I've seen cyclists wipe out, I've known cyclists who have wiped out, and I've been a passenger in at least one car, in which the driver seethed with anger at cyclists that were seemingly in her way. But my thinking started to change after speaking to a couple of women at work about it. They too had been really scared, but they took the plunge anyway. And they said it wasn't that scary after all.

I have to admit the biggest catalyst for me wanting to get a bike was the TTC. It drives me nuts. The service is horrible and I'm paying 100 dollars a month for a pass. But now that I actually have a bike, the many reasons for having one are becoming clear. First of all, it's healthy! I might actually lose a few pounds on this thing! And it's better for the enviroment. If more of us put bicycles on the streets, maybe the city will be forced to make them more bike-friendly. I want to be a part of pushing a change in our car culture.

Second, it's fun! I feel like a kid again. There is so much freedom in having two wheels. I can now go to so many places, I otherwise wouldn't have, because now the trip is so quick.

I'm also realizing that having a bike is a great way to get out and see the city. Not the touristy stuff that is obvious to us all on the main streets, but the hidden nooks and crannies, that to me, make the city so wonderful.

I got my bike from a friend last Saturday. She's been riding a newer one. It wasn't until we walked both of our bikes over to her mechanic to get the tires filled, that I revealed I hadn't been on a bike in months. Her reaction was priceless. Her eyes got bigger and she said, "ohhhh". The mechanic suggested I ride around in a park before hitting the streets. But my friend figured the parking lot would do.

I felt so silly. I kept thinking of the phrase, "it's just like riding a bike. It all comes back to you". But it wasn't! Not right away, anyway. I was wobbly and insecure. But after a few spins around the parking lot, and tips and rules of the road from my friend, I headed home. And right away, I was thrilled. There I was, scared old me, riding the streets of Toronto! I got off at the major intersections to walk my bike across, but it still felt great.

I've been to the gym and back, and that's about it. But I'm going to map out the path of least resistance to work. Then I'm going to tell the TTC they can put their monthly pass where the sun doesn't shine. (Okay, I probably won't actually say that.)

I'm one of them now! A Toronto cyclist. And it feels great.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

This Lonely City

I often find Toronto to be a lonely city. Sure, there are lots of people out and about. I can't even begin to count how many I pass on the street in one day. But how many of them do we actually connect with?

I've had lovely moments of connection with random people. A quick chat about the weather, an exchange of warm smiles with a random stranger for no apparent reason, helping someone find their way. The feeling of joy and content it brings is astonishing. But those connections are few and far between. When you're a soul among others who are all marching alone, those can be some of the lonliest times of all.

Researchers have found that some of the happiest cities in Canada are on the East Coast. That's because they're some of the friendliest. Neighbours know each other. There's a good chance when someone goes out to run errands, or simply for a walk, they'll run into someone they know. And that makes people happy.

My boyfriend and I moved to a new community a few months ago. There are lots of families, and a park nearby. I was so excited to be part of a neighbourhood. I was certain we'd soon connect with people who live near us. We have become friendly with the neighbours right next door, and the ones that lived above us, but most of the neighbours barely even look up when we come in or out of the house.

I've tried to smile at people on the street. People with dogs seem to be more receptive. They tend to smile back. Men definately don't even make eye contact. I think I know why. There have been two men that have connected with me. And both of them were creepy. One guy called out to me as I passed with a smile, "I like the way you walk" in that 'ugh' kind of way. Maybe normal, nice guys keep to themselves so they don't freak women out.

I've always felt like a small town kinda girl, even though I grew up in the suburbs. I crave connection. Don't get me wrong, I love Toronto. And there are some great people that live here. Maybe I need to put myself out more; take a chance on saying hello. But it can be scary.

I've been trying to make eye contact with the people that pass, and what I've noticed, is fear. Let's face it - there are a lot of people we definately don't want to connect with. I feel safer when I keep to myself. But that fear is overiding the simples pleasures in a day. That guy that looks a thug, or that woman that seems crazy, could actually be wonderful, amazing people.

Next time you're out, and your in a relatively open, bright, safe place, try looking people in the eye. It could open up a whole new kinda day. Maybe you and I will connect. And then we won't feel so lonely.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Getting Naked at the Gym

I don't think I can get naked at the gym. I joined the YMCA last month and so many women bare it all in the change room - even stand and have conversations with others, naked or not, and lather themselves with body lotion.

I think it's fantastic and inspiring that these women are comfortable enough in their own skin to show it so freely. Perhaps the rest of us feel a sense of shame in exposing our bodies - so highly sexualized in North America. But I still don't think I can do it. Every time I get near the showers to use the bathroom, I try to discreetly check out the scene. Is everyone naked? I haven't needed to use the showers yet, you see. The Y is so close, I just walk home to get cleaned up. But I recently purchased all the gear I need to use the pool, and that means taking a shower.

I'm not worried about seeing other people naked, although I do fear that I'll stare. After all, how often do you get to observe the naked bodies of real women? It's a celebration of our vessels and their varying shapes and sizes. I'm just not ready to wear the same freedom badge.

Of course I fear looking like the silly one who needs to cover up when everyone else isn't. I can bear my chest quite easily, but even then, the thought occurs, "what if I bump into a co-worker or acquaintance?" Awwkwaard! My boyfriend's brother's girlfriend (still with me?) goes to the same gym. And I don't know that her and I are ready for that level of intimacy.

I hope in time I too will be comfortable enough to bare this body - to not even give it a second thought. But when I do finally get around to using my new swim suit, I think I'll keep my towel on.